This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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