break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
