Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
