ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
