would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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