i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
