Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
