rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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