i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Randomize
