i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
