Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
