dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
