Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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