Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
