Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize