And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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