You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
