Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize