if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
