I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
