eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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