I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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