dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize