When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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