ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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