she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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