Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
