Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
