evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
