He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
