He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
