If i come over, it means nothing
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
