respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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