I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if only i could text you this smell
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
