Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
