if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
