I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
