I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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