at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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