all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
