nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
