so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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