The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
