I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
