so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You did what with his pubic hair?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
