i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize