Small penises have feelings too.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
