I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
