She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
third nipple confirmed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
