Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My liver just had a heart attack.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
