Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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