i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
