did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize