Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
