Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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