just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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