Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
