so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
