He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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