Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She bit a glass in half.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize