what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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