Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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