I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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