Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
