I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
3 2 1 whiskey
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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