so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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