You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
