You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
