I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
