Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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